No matter the setting, good flirting has the same basic elements. Understand and follow these next tips, and you’ll find that most women will be open and receptive to you.
This is one of the most important parts of flirting, but one that most guys get wrong. It’s not just about listening to her, you have to stay engaged. Maintain eye contact and don’t interrupt. Avoid looking away at TVs, your phone or other people. Keep the focus on her and she’ll stay focused on you.
Humor allows you to be more bold or forward than you otherwise could. Slightly suggestive jokes are great as long as they’re not creepy. It will depend on your culture as to how far you can take it, but it should be pretty mild no matter what.
Set up the follow up
You usually don’t know when one of you will suddenly have to leave. There’s nothing worse than connecting with someone, then her friends drag her away and you don’t have an opening to ask her out or for a phone number. Find something you have in common early on and you’ll be ready to use it later.
There are a few easy ways to do this. You can invite her to an event you both are interested in like a concert. You can bring up a shared interest like a book you both liked and ask if she’d like to talk more about it sometime. Or if you talked about a cuisine both of you enjoy, tell her you know a great restaurant for it and ask if she’d like to go with you.
The smile before you approach is important, but even more so is to keep smiling once you’re talking. Nothing kills a flirting conversation faster than looking serious or bored. Stay engaged, keep it light, and smile.
Take the lead on making plans
When you’re trying to schedule a date, don’t waver or ask her to decide where to go. Most women like a man who is decisive about things like this. You should always have a few bars or restaurants, or other date ideas up your sleeve and ready to use.
Picking something that is different than where most other guys would take her is always a good move. But the important thing is to propose a specific place. Asking if she’d like to go for Mexican food sometime is less effective than inviting her to the great taco place you know.
Be confident and all the rest will follow
This may be the most important part of flirting, but it’s easier said than done. Not everyone naturally carries themselves with confidence, and that can be okay as long as you aren’t negative or pessimistic. The biggest mistake guys make is confusing cockiness for confidence. Being cocky is not a good quality and will turn more women away than it will impress.
Flirting is really not so hard. Once you overcome the fear of rejection, you’re most of the way there. Be polite, be respectful, and it will all fall into place. And most importantly, have fun. If you enjoy yourself during your conversation, then she will too.
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