The thought of having sex with an ex-partner is not something new. It’s difficult to say in plain words whether it’s a bad or a good idea because there is a reason why they are the protagonists of a closed chapter of your life that has the lowest recall value. In case you plan to have a session of hot sex with your ex, here are some things that you might come across.
Thoughts that cross your mind
The moment you decide to sleep with your ex, a few thoughts always strike your mind. What if he or she is already dating someone? Would they understand that it’s not love but sex that brought you guys closer? Now that you are doing it after a long time, how is the experience going to be like now? The most common one, what if they say no! Take a deep breath, friend. As we told you, there is nothing right or wrong in it. Give it a thought before approaching them, and be straight-forward about it. If they say no, respect their decision and do not ask again. As simple as that.
You have a comfort level
And once you both agree to have sex you might discover that you still have that comfort level with them. Because you have been there and done that. You hesitate to try out something new, nor do their moves surprise you. You might also not feel the charm that you felt the first time you had sex with them. But that’s ok. And the best part, you both will know each other’s’ likes and dislikes in bed. And that can actually make the experience ah-mazing. Plus, the deed would be without any inhibitions, and can turn out to be quite steamy.
But here’s the confusing thing
Emotions are sometimes not under our control! One of you might end up developing feelings for the other, again. The situation can get messy if you or the other party turns emotionally (and sexually) clingy, and expect something more than just sex. It’s the best to set the right expectation level with your ex-partner before you both decide to have sex. Make it clear whether it is going to be an one timer, or going to last for some time. Also, be upfront about your emotions and ask them to do the same as well. It will help you both attain the much-needed clarity.
What about your friends?
This can be a little tricky. It’s best to keep this arrangement between both of you and not share it with your friends. You both might become the topic of discussion amongst your social circle if the word spreads out. And none of you would like that attention. In fact, it might lead to embarrassment. But if you really want to confide, be sure that you can trust your friend. Let your ex-partner know about it, and take a mutual decision. P.S.- Be prepared for some arguments, sarcastic comments, endless questioning or moral lectures from your bestie.
What about those sweet nothings?
On a lighter note, every couple does those sweet, little things for each other during and after the deed. Whether its pillow fighting, a sensual strip tease, a peck on the forehead, calling with sweet nick-names or cuddling, every couple does that. But should one do it again when having sex with your ex? Will it make you or the other person uncomfortable and make the situation awkward? It is a difficult call, no? Again, this is one of the most common situations that you come across under the sheets. It all depends upon the equation you share with your partner.
The risk of repeating the same mistake…
There must have been a concrete reason that both of you parted your ways in the past, right? Getting physically involved always comes with the risk of repeating the same mistake. Your communication and intimacy levels may grow with time, and you both might get attached to each other again. You guys might end up in the same spot where you were when you broke up. Trust us, nothing can be messier than that. If you have even the slightest doubt that you will fall for this trap, step back the very moment. It’s good for both of you.
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